Get outta my FACEbook!

I think it's actually possible that I, in fact, am mean to the core.

I certainly don't DENY that... And I guess admitting it is the first step...

Here's my issue du jour....

What's the deal with Facebook?

At least 5 times a day I am asked to join groups like "I hate Cancer" or "stop animal cruelty"...

My question is... Would people actually believe that I, in fact, do NOT hate Cancer or animal cruelty if I didn't join those groups?

Like I might actually be PRO Cancer and Animal abuse?

Are people actually viewing my profile saying things like "ok... he's 30 something... from the south... seems to have a LOT of personal views... I think I'll request him as a frie.... WAIT... He doesn't hate Cancer or animal abuse!!! WHAT an ASS!!! Why doesn't he HATE CANCER and ANIMAL ABUSE?!?!?! That's it... I'm reporting him to Tom!!!"

Look, here's the deal... Anyone who knows me knows that I have an opinion about almost EVERYTHING! And while my views are often...well... shall we say somewhat inflamatory... I would hope that people realize I am being a bit satirical. That I'm taking my personal view to the furthest extreme possible.

For example... A few weeks ago I caught HELL for suggesting that I think Children should be spanked... I'm not saying that it should be a law... I was just suggesting that personally... in MY view... children SHOULD be spanked!

Now you have to consider all the variables in my view...

One, I was raised in a deeply religious southern family. For them, the BIBLE abdicated spanking. You could load your argument with statistics from every childcare specialist who ever lived... but if that report didn't include the "Chapter and verse" where it's basis could be found... then it was clearly of the devil.

Two, I don't HAVE children... Nor do I want them. If that makes me a bad person, so be it! We can chat about that when you come over to my house and can open ANY cabinet or power outlet you'd like... I'll cook a REAL meal and we'll even eat it on my good china which I don't have to lock up! Simply put... I like having freedom and nice things more than I like having a little xerox of myself arguing with me.

And three, My view is honestly more of a nod for PARENTS to consider their chosen punishment before they come to my house... or sit near me in a restaurant... or get in line near me at virtually any store! While your children may be blessings from the little baby Jesus in YOUR eyes... They are NOT, so much, in mine. I have searched the world for "adult" stores or "adult" restaurants... but it seems the only time "Adult" is included in the title... you're gonna see someone "nekkid".

I'm not saying that MY view is the RIGHT view... I'm just saying it's MINE... and I admit that I'm mean... I accept that I'm hateful... but I expect you to acknowledge that I have the right to be... >;-p

I mean, regardless of my opinion... I'm still paying taxes to fund your child's school... even though I will NEVER have use for it...

I'm still helping to fund programs that pay for lower income people to spout out a few kids... because it's just easier to have kids than to get a job...

Hell, I'm even still buying candy from all the little rug-rats who come peddling at my door! In fact, I honestly probably buy more than YOU...

CLEARLY, I know that I'm kind of a jerk... but I'm honest about it! I don't hide behind some "supposed view" because it's the "right thing to think"...

I'll always tell you what I think... and I admit... that's probably not always a good thing.

There's an old adage... "It is best to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt"... (sucks for me...) but then again... that applies to the people who attack me for MY views...

Where's the "like" button for that? ;-o

I do NOT heart Huckabees... or any of their like!

Do you ever get the feeling that people are SO focussed on making sure THEIR chosen morality becomes law, that they never look at the things THEY may be doing that violate their own beliefs?

OK... This one's probably gonna make some people mad...

Here's the deal. I don't know why people like Mike Huckabee care about 2 consenting same sex people getting married? Or people like the Family Council care whether children who likely will grow up in the state system with NO parents are allowed to be adopted or fostered by a loving couple, married or not?

Pardon my crass view... but does "what you do with your private" REALLY determine whether you're a good parent? And are these groups not bigger pervert than they accuse others of being since they literally sit around... have meetings... and DISCUSS forementioned "privates usage"?

I would like to go on the record with MY views... because God knows I have a view. ;-p

As for marriage.

I believe that if some people are legally barred from entering into that institution... then it should not provide federal, fiscal benefits for those who CAN. Morality views aside... Why should the federal government offer tax credits for people JUST because they got married and/or "did it"?

If, as the Huckabees of the world would have us believe, marriage is a matter of faith and a union that is set forth in the bible... FINE... Keep it as such and remove federal benefits! If it's about "love"... then put your money where your mouth is...

And as for adoption... If you want to prevent me, as an unmarried person who honestly doesn't believe in marriage, from adopting... then don't expect me to pay taxes that benefit schools or any other children's group!

Let's face it folks... there are a LOT of people out there who got married as more of a business proposition. Their business becomes the fabrication of numerous carbon copies of themselves.

All too often it becomes easier and more lucrative for couple to just stay at home and keep having kids than for them to both get jobs!!!

Why should I, as an unmarried person with no children, have to continue paying for these people to keep having kids? Through Wedding Showers, Wedding Gifts, Baby Showers... Birthday gifts.... "AR Kids First", welfare, medicaid, millages, taxes... girl scout cookies... WHEN DOES IT END???

When it really comes down to it... I honestly don't care if I'm not invited to the dinner table... just don't expect ME to pick up the check!

My newly adopted viewpoint on the matter...

May I just take a quick moment to ask... What the hell is going on in the world?

I was watching one of the news channels and heard the story about the woman who adopted a young russian kid but it didn't work out so she sent him back to russia with a note!?!?!?!?

REALLY????

You know, this story is wrong on SO many levels...

Firstly... is it REALLY that easy for "some" people to adopt???? I mean, I can't accept that there was ANY type of background check on this woman!?!? Is it just because she was adopting a foreign child and since they're not "really" americans they don't count? Is there a white haired lady behind a desk in her office adorned with religious art who just decided "well.. even if their new parents beat them... at least they get to come to America"?

To think that this little boy, who was just 6 at the time he was adopted, was sent here to a totally strange country.... and when (SURPRISE!!!) he had a little trouble adjusting... this "mother" decided "rather than work to help him... I should just send him back... I don't have the receipt... but I bet they can look it up if I just send them a note".

That is the problem with Americans today! We have become a generation of "trashers". If something isn't EXACTLY what we want, we just throw it away and go get a new one!!!!

You know, I sometimes wonder how we got to this point? I mean, My grandmother Alberta had a large wad of foil in her kitchen drawer that she used and reused often! I think she may have bought the roll shortly after WWII and just kept re-using it! It's not that she couldn't afford to go out and buy a new roll of Reynolds Wrap... there was just no NEED to. I mean, the foil she HAD worked just fine!

And my other grandmother, Nanny... She canned vegetable from her garden every year... and I think she used the same set of jars she bought at the green stamp store, circa 1958! There was no NEED to get new jars!!! Just get some new "seals" and she was good to go!

So what, in say 30 years time, happened to turn us all into a bunch of "users"?

My theory? Wal-Mart

Think about it... before wal-mart... people saved up for quality items and then took care of them!!! Heck, they often passed items as simple as a saw or doll down from generation to generation!!!

Then, Walmart came along...

All of the sudden, items were mass produced! Sure, they LOOK shiny on the shelf... but can you think of a single item you still have in your house right now that you bought at Wal-Mart 10 years ago?

We're a generation that has been programmed to have no long term attachment to any purchases! There's always something thats bigger and better!

That tangent aside, I still can't believe how many people failed that little boy.

I mean, his "mom" put him on a plane with a NOTE!!!! What does it say about homeland security that not one flight attendant thought it was odd?!?!? Not one person READ that note and alerted police BEFORE that kids got back to Russia?!?!?!

There are SO many people to blame in this... and while I still say Wal-mart is to blame for the THINKING of a generation... lets face it... if she were returning a white russian at Wal-Mart... she'd still have needed a receipt!

Marlboro Memories...

OK, OK... I know it's been a really long time since I blogged... but I have been fighting the "nicotine demons".

Happy to say, I'm winning SO far... it's been 4 months now.

I had to sort of take a break from life for a little while to retrain myself how to live without cigarettes.

It truly is amazing how that habit infiltrated my entire life.

I remember the first cigarette I ever smoked... and while I KNOW that *I* am to blame for my own actions... I still like to throw a little guilt my sister's way. >;-)

See, many years ago, my dad had sent us down to the store to buy him a pack... at THAT time, they cost right at a dollar a pack. For some unknown reason my sister, who was 12 at the time, asked for 2 packs.

We walked back across the 5 lane highway to get back home... Gave dad HIS smokes and then hurriedly ran to the side of the house with OUR pack.

I guess Dad had to leave because for some reason, the only people home were my sister, me ... and unbeknownst to us... our older brother, Charles... or Chuck as we called him.

Once my sister (whose name I'm omitting to avoid lawsuits... although MOST of you who know ME know HER) was relatively certain that we were alone... she opened the pack, lit one and then gave one to me. I think she must have been thinking that by giving ME one she was making me just as guilty as her... so I wouldn't tell.

So there we stood, nestled behind the overgrown cedar tree... beside the wall of Virginia Creeper... She, with her "square pegs style cutoff overalls" and me, most likely wearing giranimals shorts and an underoos shirt.... both of us stood there puffing those horrible death sticks.

As my sister and I continued our secret beatnik party beside that house at 1104 C street... As we, the 12 and 6 year olds talked about our lives over a cigarette... our brother POPPED around the corner!

AHA!!!!!!! He said... My sister and I stood there, frozen in fear... finding only the will to throw down our cigarettes with such force that they bounced at our feet.

"I'M TELLING MOMMA!!!!"" Chuck said. My sister was quick to offer him a cigarette so as to lure him into our guilt spiral, from which NO "tattling" could escape!

It was no use! Chuck had just stumbled onto the juciest, most sordid piece of information that any of us in our young lives had EVER learned!

As Chuck walked back into the house... As my sister and I sent him off to a chorus of "I don't care... tell her! TELL HER MOMMA'S BOY!!!" Then, only then did my sister launch our one and only option!

"We'll just smoke them all... and bury the evidence somewhere CHUCK will NEVER FIND IT". It sounded so reasonable that it just HAD to work!

So there, in the hidden side yard between OUR house and "Claude and Loretta Rains" house... we, the preteen offenders began our daunting task.

I distinctly remember standing there with a cigarette in each hand, peeping around the corner watching for any hint of that 1977 Red Datsun Station Wagon that Mom drove with pride!

There, hiding in the shrub, we puffed like we were trying to siphon that last gallon of gas in all existence!

After the 5th or 6th cigarette... I began to feel a little "unwell".

As a 6 year old in a "paycheck to paycheck" family... I was actually used to running and playing outside since we didn't really have anything worth doing INSIDE...

Being that I was ALWAYS running.. I was actually in pretty good shape... I OFTEN ran long distances at high speeds without even breaking a sweat! Not even when I was running from a bee... or the devil! But there, in our tar stained hide out... I was feeling a bit clammy.

We finished the whole pack... and buried the evidence.

When Mom got home, Chuck waited about 10 minutes to watch us squirm... but he told her. We were CERTAIN that there would be NO WAY Mom could link us to such outrageous activities as "child smoking"... but... as it turns out... Nonsmoking mothers can usually pick up the scent of cigarettes on the breath of their 6 and 12 year olds!?!?!

My sister never smoked again after that! Unfortunately... I did.

You know, my childhood is FULL of these crazy little stories. At the time, I felt like I was losing out by not having the best toys or cable TV... but now I know *I* was the lucky one!

I still think about those days every time I drive by 1104 C street in Barling, Arkansas. One of these days I'm going to hop out and dig on the side of that house.. just to see if any of our "evidence" is still there! ;-)