Things that keep me up at night.

Still reeling from the high of last night's American Idol... I thought I'd take a break from Adam Bashing to talk about some other important things.

My mind has a tendency to go in several directions at once... I'm sure it's probably ADD or something. Usually, I can mask it throughout the daytime hours... but when night falls... all these thoughts and questions just race through my head.

like...

Do you think that when they first invented the freight train that the first people who heard it told their friends it sounded like a tornado?

On that same topic, when the first bomb was dropped... Did people who saw the site for the first time tell their friends it looked like a Hurricane blew hit the area?

When people say things like "she's ugly as the day is long"... What does that mean? Can you actually measure ugly in time? And what kind of day are we talking about? If they said that in December, she wouldn't be as ugly as she would be in say late June. Or maybe they're talking about an Arctic day... which can be 6 months long... I think we can all agree that 6 months is a whole lot of ugly.

I've also often heard people say things like "He's dumber than a box of rocks"... however, I have actually purchased a large amount of flagstone... and guess what, it was boxed! I mean, it was reinforced with wire and stuff... but there was cardboard that I had to remove. While it was very difficult to remove... I didn't necessarily think it was dumb. I mean, it held all the rocks together so they didn't break. In fact, NOT boxing them would have been dumb.

I wonder how these sayings become part of the English language?

Who WAS the first person who held up their hand and said "talk to the hand" ? And is that the saying in it's purest form? For the sake of the argument lets all assume it actually WAS a drag queen who coined that phrase, as likely it was. Did she try several other versions of that before we got the gem that is "talk to the hand"? Maybe she was on stage and someone started heckling her... so she held up her hand and said "Stop Talking... see the hand?" Then, as she was driving home in her '85 Oldsmobile Regency 98, she recanted the whole event... reenacting it as she drove. " I should have said I'm not listening miss thing, keep on talking to the hand". Then... one of the light bulbs in her beehive wig went on (because she actually didn't turn the battery powered lights woven into her wig off) and she was like "THAT'S IT! TALK TO THE HAND!!!"

And the rest is history.