Not reccommended for children under 40

I had to go to the evil Mart today to pick up some sodas...

Yeah, I usually try to avoid that store at all costs.... except when it's hot and I'm crabby... then all my convictions go out the window.

Anyway, as I walked in the icy cool store and buried my hatred deeper... I thought, I want to look through the toy section.

Normally, I won't do that unless I have my niece with me... Nothing says "WEIRDO" like a 37 year old man looking though the toy section alone.

Can I just say kids today are SO lucky. We NEVER had these toys! And apparently, I was part of the generation where the powers who make up safety rules lived by the "oh it's probably fine... no kids have died yet" rule.

Seriously... I remember getting "Hot Wheels" cars as long as I can remember! I LOVED playing with them and chewing on their lovely little plastic tires as I drifted off to sleep.

TODAY I read that they're not really recommended for children under 3!?!?!? I'm pretty sure I teethed on a miniature 1973 Firebird.

Back then, I'm not sure they even CONSIDERED whether a toy might be inappropriate for a child. I mean, how else do you explain Shrinky Dinks?

Many an afternoon was spent coloring those little sheets with sharp (probably lead based) pencils... cutting them out with a pair of sharp scissors... and then placing them in a hot oven! I mean... I had to kill some time before my parents got off work.

So I started asking myself why WE never needed those recommended ages... but today's children do... and I came to the conclusion that children today are stupid.

Seriously! I mean... somehow I seemed to just KNOW as a young child that small things could choke me... sharp things could cut me... and hot things could burn me. It's like there was a guiding voice telling me these things... Oh THAT'S right... it was my MOM!

But see... My mom didn't just warn me that I might choke or get hurt... she'd wait for it to happen and then tell me... "Well, That's what you get!"

And you know what? Over time... I realized that I was responsible for my own actions! I could make my own choices... knowing full well that some of those choices could harm me. Guess what? I turned into a cautious child who was convinced that no one would save me if I DID get hurt... especially not my mother.

The moral to this story... Sometimes, the best thing parents can do is let kids learn for themselves....

If Paris Hilton's family didn't bail her out of every tough situation... don't you think she might stop acting like a hoochie... and maybe even put on a pair of underwear?

Somewhere, in our quest to spread the joy of ecology (Circa 1976), we started thinking that the best way to teach children was to protect them from EVERYTHING... And you see where that's gotten us.

(Once again to all the parents out there... I'm definitely not talking about YOUR little angels... they're just divine! Yes, they ARE the most beautiful children God ever paused to create.)