Really? REALLY!?!?!

This evening, the music loving world fell victim to an attack!

An Audio/Visual act of terrorism!

Seriously Adam Lambert.... Millions of us sat through your weekly abominations and fully expected you to win American Idol... Not because you're the best.... but because the producers thought you were marketable...

Lets examine that using tonight's debacle as a test subject.

I know the AI producers thought you would appeal to young girls and women 18-49.... but was it THEIR heads you were rubbing in your crotch as you "GRINDED" across the stage?

That poor, poor back up dancer! Bless his heart! At least it looked like he was wearing a mask of some sort to protect him from the horror that is Adam Lambert's Hoo Hah!

I understand that in SOME parts of the country, that whole fiasco was "blacked out"... obviously because the AI producers KNEW that type of activity would be damaging to your tough guy ima ha ha ha ha sorry... I just couldn't say it!

But in Arkansas... all that was blocked was the Audio part... so while we were spared the "mothra like" screams emanating from your mouth, Adam... We still saw you sexually assault that poor boy on TV. That is an image that cannot be unseen, God help me.

I read on the Rolling Stone page that Adam was going for an "in your face, push your buttons" kind of performance.... well... as we saw... he was in SOMEONES face!

Ya know... here's my beef with Adam Lambert and his ilk.

At a pivotal moment for equal rights for all people, he has deemed himself... well... the "queen" of the movement.

The problem is, He's nasty.... He is presenting himself as a representative of the "gay community" and when people start talking about whether gays should have equal rights... they're going to remember tonight's performance.

I figure it will go something like this.

Brenda: Betty, I read in the paper that them gays is trying to get special rights!

Betty: I seen that too... You know they're just doing that so they can recruit! I seen the whole thing on Fox News!

Brenda: You know, I ain't never thought about how them boys is... and what they do... but just the other night I flipped over to watch the NEWS.... At first I was excited because I thought I seen Liza Minnelli on there and the way she was moving I thought Praise Jesus, her hip's better... Then, my little granddaughter told me that was a BOY!

Betty:Lands sakes

Brenda: Luckily I was able to find his name on the church boycott site... I think his name's Adam something....

Betty: Oh I know who you're talking about... Adam.... but there ain't no EVE!

Brenda: OHHH Ho ho ho ho ho Betty, you're TERRIBLE! Ohhh Ho Ho ho ("rich" lady laugh)

Betty: All I know is I heard he was practically fornicating on that TV program... That's how they are, Brenda... Hollywood is FULL of 'em

(and Scene)

My whole belief is that everyone has the right to be who they are... but I also believe that right comes with a teensy bit of responsibility!

Does is hurt any of us to observe a general standard of decency and decorum? Do any of us really NEED to know what someone does in the privacy of their own home? (you know aside from murderers and pervs... I mean... we kind of DO need to keep an eye on those people)

It's just like when you see some crazy white supremacist freak from Arkansas making national news... and then you get calls from friends from all across the country asking "Did you know him"

Gee... ummm... is THAT what you think of me? One white guy from Arkansas speaks out on the national stage and now that's how we ALL are?

Sometimes... personally... I feel it's good to live your life like the whole world's looking! Whether we like it or not, we are ALL representatives for our race, sex, beliefs, orientation... etc.

Our individual actions today WILL have an affect on those who follow us!

I think "time out" needs it's ass busted!

Over the past few weeks, it seems the world has lost it's damn mind!

Shootings at military bases and high rises... People hiding a 7 month old child IN A BOX under a bed for 12 hours to keep police from finding it... and just this morning I read a story about an 18 year old who beat a 64 year old NUN to death after robbing her!

I've given this a lot of thought and I think it's time to re-evaluate.

Sometime in the 70's or 80's ... Some child psychologist who was apparently coming off a reefer binge decided that punishing kids the "old fashioned" way was damaging to the growth of their individual personalities...

So they suggested... and we all apparently agreed.... that "time out" was the way to go.

OK... let's just think about this and put it into context...

If a child gets in trouble... they're told to go sit quietly alone in a corner and think about what they did! Am I the only person who thinks that sounds just a TEENSY bit like an ingredient in the "recipe of a serial killer"?

I mean... all the kid is thinking about it where they went wrong? What they could do DIFFERENTLY next time to avoid getting caught!

And even if that's not what the burgeoning psychopaths are thinking... Can we all agree that this type of psychological punishment... the "removing" of the child from all activities while the family happily continues their day... is perhaps less effective and more damaging than a quick swat?!?!

All I know is when I was a kid... I knew that if I did something "bad"... I was going to get my ass busted!

Or even worse... My Nanny used to make us go pick a switch off the tree!!!! Of COURSE I always picked a small, brittle one... but before it was used to exact my punishment... Nanny would put it through a battery of tests... and if it didn't pass... she went and got the grand daddy of ALL switches!

Yes, I lived in constant fear... but you know what? I actually LEARNED that my actions had an expected (and painful) REaction!

I'm not sure how well it worked... but I've not gone on a massive shooting rampage... or killed any nuns! (knock on wood)

Aside from that... I think it's AMAZING how we all seem shocked when certain kids do terrible things!

While bible based lawmakers fight to "preserve the family" in the eyes of the law... they're doing NOTHING To preserve it in real life!

And while "Child Protective Services" is raking in state and federal funding... they're failing the children in their care on some of the most BASIC services!

I have a friend whose child is "in the system"

This child has been in one of the shelter's for "troubled kids"... where the child was attacked by another kid staying there... and was even taunted to "walk on out the front door" by the alleged caretakers!

When the child was taken to the hospital after the attack... the parents were notified "you need to go to the hospital to get your kid"

After that, the child was placed in a mental health facility for kids... and was once again was hit by a couple other kids!

WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?

This kids was placed in the system because the child got in trouble repeatedly for being disrespectful... But you know what? The kid was never INJURED while in the parent's care!?!?!?

The whole system is so incredibly flawed that I'm not sure HOW it can be fixed!?!?!

But rather than actually take a look at this state run system... our lawmakers... the ones charged with representing ALL of us... are fighting to tax cigarettes more... arguing against the lottery... and preventing "unmarried couples" from adopting or serving as foster parents!

Granted... I personally don't want children... But if I did, I certainly wouldn't think it should be up to a group of haggardly fat old lawmakers with wives who wear WAY too much makeup and children they never see to tell ME that I'M not fit!

And on that note, when Arkansas passed the law preventing unmarried people from serving as foster parents... did it also include legislation REQUIRING married people to step in and foster kids? No... it did not...

So in ONE great swipe, the "Billy and Betty Baptists" and the "Ed and Evangeline Evangelicals" LEGISLATED their OWN moral religious beliefs... while thousands of kids were prevented from having a safe foster home, rather than a crowded poorly run state facility!

I ask you... in THAT situation... What WOULD Jesus do?

Wow... what a good nap!

Yeah, ok... so I was out of the blogging loop for a while.

I unhooked my computer... and really got used to using my iPod/iPhone for pretty much everything... but I was NOT about to type out one of my crazy blogs on those things! The "Spell Complete" alone would have driven me crazy!

Sometimes... I'm typing an actual word that I KNOW exists... and it pops in with another suggestion!?!?!? I'm like "seriously? is this a SMART PHONE??? If it's so smart, how come it doesn't understand 'Ha Ha'???? I mean WHY would it think I was trying to say Hat Hat?"

And have you noticed how sometimes you'll type "Hell" and it automatically changes it to "He'll"? What the he'll is up with that?

Anyway... where to begin.

Previously on "inside the mind of Anthony"... I'm sure I was on some tirade about American Idol... the cost of gas and Wal-Mart... Yeah.. that's pretty much me in a nutshell.

I WILL tell you a quick little story that taught me a lesson about ALWAYS being nice to people... no matter how difficult...

OK... so a couple weeks ago, Glen and I went to K-Mart to check out their "going out of business sale". (Which, by the way, is a TOTAL joke! I mean... if THOSE prices are 40%-50% off... I think I know why they're going out of business)

Anyway... It was the day before our big garage sale... I and I was hoping to snag one of those clothes racks.

So we go into the store... and all the racks are lined along the back wall... none of them are priced.

I found the ONE lady who looked like she worked there... and by that I mean she was a skinny "leathery tanned" woman with smoker's hack and an apparent eating disorder.

So I asked her "are the clothes racks for sale?"

She said "Yes"

"How much are they" I asked.

She proceeded to walk over to the service desk to pick up a notebook and then told me "We don't know how much they are yet... anyone who wants one can leave their information and we'll call them"

EXCUSE ME? Isn't this store going out of business? Haven't all the ads said "Everything must go?" I mean... the way they're promoting this sale I half expected to be able to walk in and say "Yes, I want this 10 foot section of the floor... 4 of those ceiling tiles.... OOOOHH How much for the fish eye security mirror?"

But NO! They're running up the cost of the fixtures, based on how many people WANT them!

So I will admit... I totally got snotty with her and said something like "I have money right now, right here... if you all were SERIOUS about selling them then I'd load one up right now... but with THAT procedure.... y'all can just work around them until you lock the doors for the last time!"

I huffed off and found Glen and said "Let's Go!", Confident in the fact I had truly just told them off and I was in the right!

We left K-mart and went to Target... a Furniture Store... we pretty much ran all over creation.

then.... when we got home... I went into the bathroom to wash my hands.... I looked at myself in the mirror... Why can I read the print on my shirt so well in the mirror?

That's right.... I had made an ASS of myself wearing my shirt WRONG SIDE OUT!!!!

I can only take solace in the fact that MAYBE those people noticed my shirt... and just thought I was crazy.

note to self... if you're hopping on a high horse... give a quick look in the mirror!

The smell of change?

As the world ponders such issues from Health care reform... to fears over a possible H1N1 outbreak... one issue has fallen by the wayside!

I am here to shine a blazing light on a growing problem that I feel all to many people are ignoring! And by IGNORING it... it's only going to get worse!

That problem, of course, is''' What ever happened to soap that actually smells like soap?"

Seriously! I think this whole modernization of the hand soap industry has gone too far!

The other day, I was washing my hands in the bathroom and caught a whiff of a sweet, sugary, vanilla smell.

That's just wrong!

I understand that some people LOVE that scent... but it is NOT a scent I want to smell in the bathroom!

Something about mixing food smells with... well... OTHER smells in that room is just gross!

While THAT is the top example of this growing issue... I have to say it's not the only issue.

I mean... even OTHER scents are inappropriate for various reasons...

I mean... I personally don't want my hands to smell like I just picked a bushel of blackberries! As if there's some blue floral bonnet filled with berries that I picked with the Ingalls girls while "pa" caught dinner in the "crick".

Besides... for those people who LOVE food scented soaps... what is the first thing you do when you wash your hands? You hold them up to your nose... inhale deeply... and say "mmmmmmm I just LOVE that smell!".... the problem with that? You just put your clean hands up to your dirty nose which clearly you did not wash!!!!

What is the FIRST rule Doctors say about preventing Flu and sickness? DON'T be touching your face!

Maybe I'm way off in left field here... but I choose to prevent the spread of germs ANY way possible!

That is why I NEVER eat birthday cake unless I can easily peel off the protective coating of icing!

PLEASE people?!?!? I don't care who you are or how cute your child is... I am NOT eating something that you... or your child just blew across!!!! I may as well just lick your nose!

Critter Wars!

When I moved to my home in Van Buren, Arkansas... I encountered a bug that I had never seen before.

I've since found out these scary little bugs are known as "House Centipedes".

This first time I ever saw one, I had just moved in and was sitting on the newly carpeted floor, watching TV.

As you might have guessed from all those legs... these little boogers can HAUL! By the time you've seen something out of the corner of your eye.... They are ON you!

Now, I am not really afraid of spiders or most bugs... My only REAL "bug fear" is the Scorpion!

My brother Charles used his knowledge of this fear to scare me mercilessly.... Sometimes meticulously cutting a scorpion image out of a magazine and placing it along my base board... or on my bed... He even bought me one of those Oklahoma Paper weights that has a scorpion inside it... yeah, it was greeeeeaaaaaaaat.

So with my prior knowledge of the way scorpions look when they quickly trek across your carpet... I nearly went into a fear induced seizure when a house centipede darted across the floor and onto me!

Most people who know me, know that I really hate to kill anything... I will usually catch the critter and set it free outside. That's not a Buddhist belief... I think it'd more for all the times My cousin Sandy and I would catch things... and our uncle Billy would begin telling us about that creatures family... how they would be wondering what happened to it... maybe even holding search parties or hanging tiny little signs. Needless to say, the Scorpion in my one exception.

One night I killed one of these bugs as they darted across the floor... really just so I could make sure it WASN'T a scorpion... if it HAD been... I was ready to pack up and move again!

When I lifted the shoe I used to kill this thing... I was confused. I mean... what WAS this thing? It looked like false eye-lashes had fallen to the floor and took off running really really fast.

Then, I started worrying that I might have killed some endangered bug... I mean... If I, being a person of country/hill people heritage had never seen one... it MUST be rare!

After a long talk with a friend at the Extension Office and countless hours of web searches... the bug was identified.

Turns out, these creepy little bugs are actually GOOD to have around. They eat spiders and other bugs.

I've since tried to just let them be... it's kind of hard... because some of these things have been more than 3 inches long !

We've sprayed many times... but it doesn't seem to have a huge affect on them.

I'm cool with them, for the most part, but there is nothing that will shake you awake like seeing the light from the alarm clock cascading off a bug darting up your wall!

ewwwwwwwwwwww! Heeeeebie Jeeeeeebies!

Motivation: An experiement in ... ah... whatever

So Here it is AUGUST already and I have NO motivation to complete all my goals for 2009!

What's the deal with that?

I mean, this is the first year in nearly 20 years that I've had a schedule that would permit me time to work on my personal goals... and yet... nothing.

I KNOW what it is... It's that stupid TV and all the glorious shows to which I am now addicted!

Let me give you a rundown of my favorite shows... and a brief synopsis of why these shows are television gold!

Of all the reality shows ever created... Big Brother is the only one I would ever want to go on! And let me tell you why.

Winning that game is TOTALLY about listening and learning... and convincing other people that YOUR goals are actually THEIRS.... I could... and totally have had to do that!

look people... I worked to TV stations for 18 years of my life! The ONLY way to survive that long in that field is to play mental chess!

Don't get me wrong... most of the people I worked with were amazing, truly genuine people... but I can say without reservation that at every station I worked, there were people in power who certainly never should have been. But... I, as well as others, smiled... complemented them on their great ideas... maybe even told them they looked like they lost weight... all the while, sneaking our own ideas into the system... and convincing management that it was THEIR idea...

I'm serious people... I could TOTALLY win that show!

Another show I think is great is "The Colony".

The premise for this show is that there's a group of people who have survived some sort of apocolypse and now they're trying to recreate certain parts of civilization.

What I LOVE about this show is that there's a realistic element that none of the other survivor shows have... People can attack you and steal your stuff!

I mean THINK about it... that's totally what would happen in real life... Heck.. it's what DOES happen...

Not that this is any comparison, but I live in a pretty nice neighborhood... presumably safe. Yet every year, kids steal things out of my yard! Whether it's a pumpkin at Halloween or a yard decoration... it's still stolen.

I'd like to invent a new show about protecting your home... maybe featuring new inventions... something like "motion sensing tasers" that you could hide in your shrubs? Of course that would HAVE to come with a camera... I mean... there is no better joy than seeing a thief get tazed while trying to steal something... it only makes it that much better if it's a mean little kid. >:-)

Rounding up my weekly viewing is Ace of Cakes and Cake Boss...

I actually think I Like Cake Boss better than Ace of Cakes. I mean, that guys cakes look more edible than Duff's on Ace of Cakes.

Duff's people make some amazing "cakes" but only a small part is actually edible. pretty much every part of the cake on "Cake Boss" is edible... AND they make other cakes that actually look like... well... cakes... and they look sooooooo goood.

You know... looking at my viewing habits... I'm starting to see why I've become a chubby hermit! <:-0

What did I EAT ?

I may have had the STRANGEST dream I've ever had last night.

Most people who know me know that I can usually pinpoint certain elements of a dream and can tell why I dreamed about it... but this one really left me scratching my head... so if there are any dream interpreters out there... Here ya go!

OK... so the the dream started with me back at UCA in Conway. There was a competition where you were given a big plastic sword and a list of people you had to tag. If you tagged everyone on your list, your name went into a drawing for $10,000.

My list was random and somehow included my parents.. As soon as I got my list and saw them on it... I went to the dining center (where they were sipping coffee) Tagged them and moved on.

The next two people on my list were so random that it was just odd! I mean, I KNOW them... but I haven't seen either of them in years... unless you count a few e-mails on Facebook.

I was supposed to tag Greg Robinson and Leahe Shultis.

In my dream, they were both in line at the dining center at UCA. I think it must have been around Halloween because everyone was dressed in costume... Greg and Leahe were dressed as Pilgrims. (wait it get's stranger)

So I quickly tag Greg... but I had to hide until Leahe walked by and I quickly tagged her! She turned around and said... "Oh, Heyyy.... Sorry... I'm just not feeling well". I remember telling her she looked really good and she could probably wear the skirt part of her costume with other things. (?) .....

Right then, she said "I need to sit down"... We sat on a couch that was right there next to the line... and then I called for paramedics to come check her out!

After doing some quick on-site testing... they said... "well, she has H1N1". I was like "GREAT!... I was just sitting with her!"...

Leahe was just sitting there trying to get over her swine flu when I said "I need to go get a drink".... But I DIDN'T go get a drink... I went to see my friend Devonna who was one of my roommates in college.

I didn't talk to her all that long before she was telling me about the new roommates and how one of them knew me.

This part of the dream gets a little fuzzy... I met the guy and he was a 1997 Southside Graduate... somehow, I DID know him in my dream... but I don't really in real life.

NEXT thing I know... I'm working on Glen's and My pool... but it wasn't the 21 foot round pool that we have... it was a GINORMOUS covered WAVE pool! It was COVERED in seaweed so we hired some French or Russian guy to help us clean it. We were all IN the absolutely HUGE pool working in tandem to fold the seaweed up... much like a tarp!

We all got out and glen was pointing over to the side where there were some leaves and he was telling me "You have to get those leaves!"

As I walked closer... I realized it wasn't leaves... it was a baby SEAL! By this time, Glen was beside me and I told him "That's not leaves... it's a baby SEAL" and he was looking everywhere except where I pointed saying "where? I don't see it"... the seal climbed out of the pool right next to me and I told Glen "RIGHT HERE!!!"... he was like "oh... I see"... like it was no big deal! I mean come on... it's a fricking SEAL!

I picked up the seal and carried him to the refrigerator that was beside the pool... opened it up and saw some tiny watermelon slices that I thought he might eat.... I gave them to him and he ate them... but then scrunched up his face and sneezed so I thought maybe he shouldn't eat any more of that... PLUS... when I looked at the watermelon treat in my hand... I realized it was wrapped in purple onion slices. (seriously... what is this all about????)

In my dream... I knew that seals couldn't eat purple onions... so I took him to my sister's house to look up what seals could eat. Of course, my sister was all "OHHHHHHHH! IT'S A BABY SEALLLLLLL!!! HE'S SO CUUUUUUTE"...

I don't know if this matters... but in my dream, that's when I determined that the seal had actually escaped from the fair... OH!!! and he was a GREY seal when I found him... and a WHITE seal with grey patches when the dream ended..

OK... So WHAT THE HECK DOES THAT ALL MEAN?

I mean... I NEVER remember my dreams in THAT much detail...

This dream is either trying to tell me some hidden truth... or trying to tell me not to eat so close to bedtime. It MAY just be reminding me that I am one crazy mo fo.