The joy of a southern yard sale.

What is it about this time of year?

As soon as the flowers start blooming it signals all of us to look in our closets and say "I need to have a yard sale".

In my experience, it's never quite as fun as it sounds.

I remember when I was young my grandmother, Nanny, was quite possibly the best yard seller in all of Scott County.

As is southern tradition, Nanny would decide on a date to host her sale and then call everyone in our family to see if we had anything to put in it.

The day before the sale, Mom would load us in the 1977 Datsun Wagon with no AC... along with the piles of clothes, toys... Every cherished piece of my 6 year old life... all carefully priced for sale.

Now, Nanny's house didn't have a garage... there was just a covered "drive through" carport that spanned the distance between the house and the "utility room".

Nanny would pull every lawn chair into that carport and find the perfect old piece of board to convert those chairs into tables.

Once everything was piled on, us kids would walk around pointing out the things we wanted and just could not sell... Nanny would put those things aside... but somehow they always ended up back in the sale the next day.

As a self proclaimed writer, I think yard sales and laundry mats are the best places to find characters for future novels.

I remember one old farmer who never missed Nanny's sales.

Picture this...

and old 1963 Ford Pickup pulls into the gravel drive way.

Behind the wheel all you can see are knuckles, overall straps and a big old stetson hat.

the door opens with a "creeeeeek" and then it happens!

That old man, who looked like he had JUST come from the Scott County Sale Barn, steps out of his truck wearing a pair of pentecostal issue, black slink back low rise heels!

Now this OF COURSE caught all us kids' attention.

I think I giggled, only to receive the swift "Snap/Behave" combo from Nanny.

The old farmer walked up to the sale and first asked if we were selling any old tools or fishing lures... What is it about old southern men that makes them ALWAYS ask that at yard sales?

"No, just some furniture... toys.... and quite a few old shoes" Nanny said. She was so sly in her baiting technique.

The old man walked over to the shoes... "Are these a size six?" he asked.

"Yeah, all of mine are, My sister Snooks may have put a few 7's in there... her feet are bigger than mine" Nanny said, always quick to get in a quick jab at "Aint Snooks".

The farmer gathered up every pair of women's shoes and handed Nanny a couple dollars, which she put in the cigar box near the door... then the man just walked off.

Now the INSTANT that his door slammed us kids asked Nanny "Did you see? He was wearing girls shoes?!?!".

Now I don't know if Nanny was trying to protect his image or justify her own sale of women's shoes to a high heel wearing farmer... but she told us "Doctor's don't know why, but women's shoes just fit him better".

See, anytime there was something unexplainable in the south... you just had to add "Doctor's don't know why" to validate it.... "Doctors have done everything they can" is also acceptable.

I believe this yard sale was the SAME one where I was playing with a tennis ball, bouncing it off Nanny's roof when it ricocheted off the roof and hit a VERY old woman as she was hobbling back to her car. Thank GOD she was pentecostal... without that bun, she might have been hurt.

Yard sales are as much a part of southern life as gardens and pot-lucks.

I am quite sure that from 1960-1990, no one in Waldron actually bought anything NEW.... I'm pretty sure we just all took turns wearing it.